Bacon in bed - a reason to wed
Oh. My. Lord.
Take a look at this: the Wake 'n' Bacon. The 21st Century has come to its zenith early. Balls to the 'singularity' of Artificial Intelligence; fuck the Large Haydron Collider; the Wake 'n' Bacon is here:
See the wooden bedside pig. A simple piece of furniture? No, sir - 'tis more! Look at the lights! The LED display! This is something more!
Holy streaky goodness, Batman! This bedside pig actually COOKS you bacon while you sleep. So you can finally live the dream of waking to the sweet smells of fresh cooked bacon in the morning. It's genius. Genius, I tell you.Of course, it's the logical evolution of the Teasmade. Which incidentally I recommend you get to accompany the
Wake n Bacon. Nothing like a fresh cup of coffee to go with your bacon sandwi... Oh, hold on. You'll need a breadmaker too, for that fresh-baked bread to make your bacon sandwich, to go with your coffee.
Don't forget a ketchup dispenser. Maybe a smoothie-maker would help hit the spot. And surely there's a wooden chicken out there that can rustle me some eggy action to go with my bacon? The cuddley bedside coddler?
Fuck alive, this shit's worth getting married for. I mean there's a bedroom breakfast bar wedding list to die for here. Imagine that first day after the night's nuptuals - waking up to breakfast with the one you love. And every day thereafter. A life together basking in the glory of your bacony boudoir. Divorce rates will fall to the rising might of coronary heart disease.
Romance made better by the progress of appliances. You saw it here first.
Article Dan
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